Part 1 – Values
I do a lot of work using personality profiling, which articulates clearly how you like to behave. i.e. How other people see you will draw implications from your behaviour.
Once articulated, the question I am most asked is –
“Why do I always behave this way?”
“How did this happen to me?”
By now you will have begun to realise that the answer is clear.
Everybody goes through the same process and I am going to outline this process to you now.
Each step of the chain is inextricably linked, and I guarantee you will begin to understand yourself better once you inwardly reflect on each of these steps.
The link looks like this:
Everything starts with your Values as a person
As you enter adulthood, these are the guiding principles you hold. Invariably they come from your parents, either strict adherence to what they taught you, or for the rebellious doing the exact opposite to what you were told.
Values give your life purpose and direction.
For example, you may have a great value of honesty, and that value will guide you in situational judgements and the options you exercise.
Another value might be gratitude for all that you have, and not just material things. How would that shape the way you behave?
Some people put great store on trustworthiness.
How would you feel if you knew everybody trusts you?
On a different plane, many people are guided by a sense of sexuality, self-confident, always feeling attractive, feeling comfortable being seductive.
How would that affect the way you behave?
Your sense of sociability?
Some people have had it ingrained in them to value ambition and achievement higher than anything else in life.
Whilst that certainly gives you guidance in your decisions in life, a challenge might be that no matter how much you achieve if will never be enough.
What are your values?
Knowing this will guide in questions such as:-
- What career should I pursue?
- How much should I compromise?
- Are values that were important to me still relevant?
So let’s start by getting you to define your values and discover what is truly important to you.
- When were you happiest? What were you doing? Who were you with?
- When have you been most proud? What brought that about?
- When did you feel fulfilled? What meaning did you give it?
- Once you put words to these experiences, there may well be some thread or commonality. It may help to prioritise your values in order of their importance to you.
Once you’re happy that you have established them in your mind – share them with others.
Part 2 – Beliefs and Attitudes
Don’t forget the more CLARITY you have, the more CERTAIN the outcome.